Deaf People are Assholes Too

Before describing briefly an experience I had at Jersey Gardens on Sunday I'm going to throw in a little ego boost I received the day before as I was out on a run.

As I headed out on a run Saturday, I was in an extra friendly mood and decided to wave, salute, nod, or some reasonable facsimile thereof to every other runner I passed. In general I respond to all hailings from other runners, but I was in an extra initiative mood because I realized I wouldn't be running for a good long while most likely, especially not at any great distance. For whatever reason, however, not a single person returned my greeting. What a bunch of assholes. The ego boost I speak of came when I passed two physical trainer type dudes leading two women in I-take-fitness-seriously-or-at-least-the-gear outfits and they remarked, "now that is a great running stride." This kind of stuff makes my day, probably all the more because I admittedly run in a very goofy fashion. While in the past I was able to run quickly in spite of this it may also be the reason for so many of my injury woes.

But that is neither here nor there because far more important was the run-in I had Sunday at the food court at Jersey Gardens Mall. There I was, minding my own business, conversing with my good friend and his girlfriend when a lady came up to stand literally inches from me. Not sure why I said literally there, but man, literally. So I see that she has a pen with some message written on it and I say "no thank you," to let her know I am not interested. Unbeknownst to me, this woman happens to be deaf, so she taps me on the shoulder and sticks the pen near my face. I still might not have realized she was deaf at this point if my friend hadn't pointed it out. Now, I don't appreciate being solicited for donations and hand-outs, and deaf people are no exception. But the real kicker came when I dismissed her the second time and she put her hand to her mouth, made a kissing motion, and then put that same hand to her ass. Now I might not know sign language, but I am not a total moron and I realized she had told me to kiss her ass. Great job lady, great job. It's the kind of thing where I wouldn't be surprised to see her start talking once she turned the corner. Really though, I will assume she really was deaf and remind her that that is not an excuse to be an asshole. Would she have wanted me to interrupt her while she was eating to ask her for money? Doubt it...

And to prove I am not a total jerk, right before this incident I helped a little girl fill her paper ketchup containers when I noticed her struggling with the ketchup dispenser. She didn't tell me to kiss her ass.