Welcome to the Neighborhood

Seeing as how I have lived in the same neighborhood for nearing the start of my third year, one can forget about what might seem a touch ridiculous in other parts. Case in point: I left my apartment this evening carrying a handful of grapes — a bunch actually. This seemed perfectly normal as I wanted a snack for while I walked but then, as I sighted the man with a parrot on his shoulder around the corner, I realized that eating a bunch of grapes while you walk may, in fact, be vaguely outside the norm. Still, I would expect it lies closer to normal than having a parrot on your shoulder.

I've noted before that any sort of eating while one walks is considered rather strange behavior. Most people, it seems, sit down to eat. Me though, unless I have plans to dine with someone, I tend to feel that eating is more of an act to fill a void in energy before going to the next activity. I enjoy eating, I really do but, considering I'm often running late, if I can combine any activities, I'm doing myself a big favor.

Moving on in the extremely linear fashion that I tend to adopt in here, I want to take the time to post this video of Beth Stelling from last night's Conan O'Brien show. Beth is a person I got to know a little in my forays into comedy in Chicago and she's a real delight. Aside from actually being funny, she's also really nice and pleasant to spend time — even the limited time I've spent — with. Since I'm generally griping about nonsense on here, I want to be sure I'm balancing it with representing when good people do things well. So congrats to Beth Stelling, I'll always root more for the nice folks.

Speaking of nice folks, on the way to work this morning, a little girl in the backseat of a Volvo station wagon stared at me as I waited to cross the street so I gave her a big smile and a thumbs up. I realized this was not the most standard of responses, but it was enough for the kid. Thanks kid, for being one of those simple restorative dailies. I pulled the same on a little girl in a stroller walking home. For whatever reason, when kids smile at me, I get more excited than when adults to. I think their innocence translates to a genuine sense that I might not be an asshole. But also their innocence might make their judgment foolhardy!

Shit, other than that, I'm getting excited for the Olympics to kick off. I admit, I'd be happier if no one were on drugs, but there are so many weird chemicals in everything we eat and touch that many of us are turning out unwitting mutants...I just wish that for me it meant I was impervious to injury instead of being impervious to being impervious to injury!

Play on playas.

Showdown: Reality TV v. Real Life

Oh shit, remember how originally I said this blog was going to be about griping, well fuckshit here it comes. I don't even watch much reality TV, or TV for that matter and still it is really pissing me off lately. Should I have capitalized "reality?" Probably. Or maybe italics, since it's an affectation of real life. Scripted. What's real anyway right?

Hey, I used to dig Top Chef, I've seen my share of Real [Scripted] World, even watched That 70s House. I'm not spouting off about something entirely without frame of reference. But really, does there have to be a reality show about everything? When did reality TV replace real life as the place for experience? I mean, I like movies, I like books, I like some TV shows, because they allow for exploration of worlds I don't know, worlds that may or may not exist. No gratuitous links to follow because these things are all such known quantities I need not link them to enlighten you.

So what really set it off? Well tonight, at a club called Lumen (a club I know nothing about, because I don't go to clubs generally. No hate, just not my thing, to each his own, etc) the Jersey Shore cast will be in attendance. Or at least "The Situation" and DJ Pauly D. Yes, I've never seen this show and know who these characters are because all most people are talking about these days is Jersey Shore. Pardon me for largely not giving a shit. I did see Sitch and Snooki on Conan, you know, back when Conan still had a show. I hesitate to go there vis Conan since according to some "the ratings don't lie." Oh really? Not going to bother analyzing the nature of comedy, popularity, opinions because, frankly, I am not smart enough, and even my meager analysis would take up a lot of [cyber]space. I am not a regular late night viewer, but I have always liked Conan and his humor. I am not alone in this, and yet I may not be in the majority. That is okay, and perhaps how it should be. The semi-point though, was that I saw these Jersey Shore folks on the show, and I liked Sitch, Snooki just seemed chock full of dopey affectation. Can we not look away? Are you not entertained?

Here I am complaining about the reality TV trend, and I'm doing it on a blog, another American obsession. Like maybe I want people to give a shit about what I'm saying. Well fuck my somewhat hypocritical philosophical conundrum self. I mean, by discussing it am I not perpetuating the very thing I am seeking to see disappear? Too much booze and caffeine, too little sleep.

And again, on humor, I don't laugh at a lot of things that other people do. I get this sense at times that my sense of humor is broken, or something to that effect. But, for real, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone here (am I really?), that old guy on American Idol the other day, was not funny. Yeah, I watched it, because it was all over Facebook. Oh shit, let's not go there right? That guy, was not funny. That is not an opinion this time. Seriously, the other day in improv class we did a singing exercise, and every single moment was funnier than that shit. How many times do we need to hear Randy say, "yo dawg," and have Simon show disgust before enough is enough? I know, if I don't like it, don't watch it. I don't, although I just did. To Simon's credit, he is a marketing genius. He understands people, knows how to promote shit. It is American Idol after all, not "Person who can sing really well," (although as someone who can't, some of them really can). Singer and artist need not be the same thing. Nevermind that Simon is not from the US. Perhaps it is easier to pick us apart from a lens outside.

I've probably posted it before, but to me, this B4-4 vid is gold. And hell, I might have posted this too, but it really got me chuckling again a couple of weeks back when someone mentioned Kanye West's book to me. I like some Kanye tracks, not sure how I feel about Kanye, but this assessment of him is well, amusing. To who? To me.

Please don't think I am riding a high horse. I have never been inclined to the equestrian. I am not judging those that enjoy these things, just acknowledging my own disconnect. Maybe I am the problem. Has the whole world gone crazy, or I am just the crazy one?

As for me, well, I'll just listen to Young Folks for the eighty millionth time atop my throne of mediocrity and live vicariously through my buddy David Duchovny as Hank Moody. This is why I whistle while I walk.