Reigning in the Rain

Ah, the relationship with rain. I actually like when it rains, because you need a good gloomy day now and then. And, providing it's not too chilly, little is more invigorating than a run in the rain. But when you need to get somewhere and all around you have umbrellas, well, I've spoken of umbrella etiquette before. Without entirely rehashing my gripes, I'll just say that umbrella use is a great microcosm into the selfishness of an individual. Don't want to get wet and/or have important things you don't want to get wet? I totally understand. But others don't really want to either, nor do they want to be decapitated by your unwieldy wielding of an umbrella.

But that's small fry and, rain aside, for however sunny life seemed in Chicago on Family Matters, the fact of the matter is, these days — as a friend put it when I shared the numbers — Carl Winslow is not doing his job. It's really not anything new, which makes it more disturbing. Yes, there are surges in the murder rate, but there are consistently a lot of murders in this city. Is it because they're on the South Side that they get less coverage? Wouldn't that be a shocker...

Since I don't worry about transitions, how about Andy Roddick retiring? This is not a subtle distraction from bigger issues, it's blatant. But Roddick, I have to say I enjoyed press conferences like this one after Roger Federer annihilated him at the 2007 Australian Open. And I liked to watch the guy play. It's true, he wasn't on the level of Federer and then Nadal and Djokovic. Tennis, in this era, is unusual, in that those are the three guys winning everything [that matters — Slams]. And rarely are they being eliminated from tournaments by anyone other than each other. And yet, even though I never really thought he'd do it, I would root for Roddick to win tournaments after that 2003 US Open.

Who can say why? Sports and other allegiances are an odd — and fickle — thing. It's hard enough to pass judgment on people you actually know, but then toss it through the lens of athletes or other celebrities who we get to know through tabloids and [sometimes] legitimate news sources. "Gee, that guy seems like an asshole." Or, "Seems like the kind of guy I'd want to grab a beer with." Or even, "I hate you, but goddammit do I respect you."

And hell, I remember sitting in my sister's apartment, begging the fifth set to go to Roddick at the 2009 Wimbledon final. This one was different as I always thought he'd need luck, or Federer to be off his game to win. But that day he outplayed Federer. That day I really thought he might win. It's a testament to Federer that he hung on anyway. I feel as if, in America, we root for the underdog, but we also want to be the dominant force. It's at odds with itself. And because Roddick rose to the top, ever so briefly, and then hung around, well, I think it made me like him more. It hardly effects my life whether he won or lost a match, and yet it affected it here and there.

Party on Roddick.

Finally, a couple of quick reminders: don't be afraid of the weird hairs growing on your back. This doesn't have to be awkward backhair if you just own it. And yes, sometimes deaf people are jerks. Sometimes, deaf people are assholes. Why am I saying this? Well, I've slipped through the rankings for these search terms, so I'm just doing some low-grade SEO.

SEO you later.

Still Love Safin

This Sunday was the epic Wimbledon final between Roger Federer, the Swiss superstar I dislike for no reason, and Rafael Nadal, the youthful genetic beast. It was a pretty tremendous match and I admit I was awfully nervous that last set-plus, wondering if Federer was going to pull it out. R-Fed is amazing, no doubt, and I am going to try to stop hating him, but it's going to be tough. I think it's not just the dominance, but the cool dominance. I just want a little more emotion is all I think. After his victory, Nadal crawled into the stands. Chances Federer does that? I'll go with a number rapidly approaching zero.

I am a Nadal fan, no doubt, but he will be no higher than second fiddle on my list of favorite players as long as Marat Safin stays on the courts. And why? Again, no good reason. Like so many other things in life, I just go with the vibe of the thing, and I love the vibe Safin gives off. He talks about quitting, he drops out of the Top 100, he beats the world's number three ranked player (and only other winner of a Grand Slam final this calendar year), Novak Djokovic aka Dontchawanna Chokdabitch. To be fair to Federer, I don't like Djokovic either, and I vastly prefer Federer. Heck, maybe it was just a couple of minor dents in his armor for me to start liking him.

No matter, it was a great weekend of sport, even if I had to watch Safin go down on a Friday and Alan Webb fail to qualify for the Olympics. I still love you Alan, and I have no doubt you'll pull your shit together and prove all the haters wrong. There will always be haters (see also my feelings towards Federer and, moreso, Djokovic) but I hope Alan knows he's still got bigtime fans. Dude's an absolute beast.

I'm also still riding the high of Spain and my man Fernando Torres winning Eurocup. Considering my native England didn't qualify, Spain was my desired champion, although for the sake of the Dutch, I was hoping they'd put it together a bit more.

We're also at exactly the one month mark to the Beijing Olympics. 8/8/08...some marketer probably rode that one to retirement. I have to say I am pretty stoked as there almost isn't a sport I don't enjoy watching during the Summer Olympics, and with modern technology (which I often bitch about), I could spend the couple of months after the Olympics watching shit I missed. And you've gotta love the Asian touch on the Olympic mascots (which are historically awful). So let's rejoice in the beauty of athletic competition and pray everyone's not on drugs.

I Love Sports

This past Sunday was a reminder of just that. I started it off by going for a run in the ball-dripping heat and then settled down to breakfast while witnessing Rafael Nadal beat the absolute shit out of Roger Federer. I've said in the past that I am not much of a Federer fan, but I really don't have any reason to feel that way. He's a gentleman on and off the court and his skills are astounding. Hell, I don't have any problem with Tiger Woods and he's a fairly dominant SOB.

Later in the day I had a rare treat as NBC televised the Prefontaine Classic. I'm always disappointed by televised track meets, and I think it has a lot to do with a commercial being inserted after every event, and distance events never being shown in their entirety. The commentators are also laughable as their knowledge of race competitors alone is fairly poor. Don't they have the start lists and someone provide them info anyway? Sure, track is a bit obscure in the United States, but why not have someone who knows their shit be a commentator? So it goes.

An excellent sporting Sunday was capped by game 2 between the Lakers and Celtics, with a Celtics victory being a bit of icing on the cake. As New England sports go, I might hate the Patriots, but this is a likable Celtics squad. It's hard not to like Garnett, Ray Allen is just about my favorite player, and then there is the lovable Rondo, who makes me think of the foot clan for some reason. Hell, I'm even warming up to Paul Pierce.

Moving on from sports, I will remind readers of when, back on April 1st, I wrote about the google April Fool's Day prank. Only, while google was joking, the folks over at Big String were not. As you can see from the link it lets you do all sorts of crazy shit like create emails that have a limited number of views before they are destroyed and even unsend emails. Apparently it's been around for at least three years judging from the date of that article, but I'm surprised more creepy and/or shady underhanded people aren't taking advantage of this.

Anyway, I'm going to devote my full attention to the fourth quarter of this Celtics game. But before I go I leave you with this Jim Gaffigan hot pockets clip. Kudos to the Boneyard for reminding me about this total gem and causing me to subsequently listen to all of the Gaffigan stand-up I could find. I feel as if I were to reach my apogee in stand-up performance I would fall short of Jim, but it would be in a similar vein. Hooooot pockets...