There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Beginning of the End

Emperor Ming aka Potential Future Google

The geniuses at Google have done it again. I just logged out of gmail and this was on their entry page:

New! Gmail Custom Time™

Ever wish you could go back in time and send that crucial email that could have changed everything -- if only it hadn't slipped your mind? Gmail can now help you with those missed deadlines, missed birthdays and missed opportunities.

Pre-date your messages
You tell us what time you would have wanted your email sent, and we'll take care of the rest. Need an email to arrive 6 hours ago? No problem.

Mark as read or unread
Take sending emails to the past one step further. We let you make emails look like they've been read all along.

Make them count
Use your custom time stamped messages wisely -- each Gmail user gets ten per year.

Worry less
Forget your finance reports. Forget your anniversary. We'll make it look like you remembered.

This would be frighteningly easy to monetize for when people want to go above their ten freebies. But what becomes legitimate anymore? This reminds me of when I first started using Adium and I noted options included invisible, the ability to chat with your away message up, and to even falsify when you signed on and things like idleness. The implications and possibilities are, to use that word again, frightening.

Google is awesome, but on its way to omnipotence, can it avoid Lord Acton's contention that absolute power corrupts absolutely? Should the worldwide web belong to Google (Spidey), they must remember Aunt May's words: "with great power comes great responsibility," or all of the Uncle Ben's of the world could be in a world of shit.


  1. Yeah, the Google April Fools' jokes are pretty grand. Last year's "back it up on paper!" ah grand times.

  2. Yeah, I always forget to play April Fool's jokes on people, so it's nice to see some in action. Google really is too cool for school. Hell, they had me once they started changing their search page logo based on the holiday/time of year.

  3. Guys I think it was Uncle Ben that said that, not Aunt May. And you guys call yourselves nerds... :P

  4. Misattributing the quote was actually part of the April fool's joke.

    Okay, you got us but look what Wikipedia says, Bam! originally no one said it, but it was later attributed to Ben. That doesn't help our case.

    In defense of the collective nerds of Awkward Backhair, it's really just me, Jeb, here behind the scenes. I just use "we" sometimes, because I like how it sounds.



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