Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard

"Amanda Hates Nick Jonas." That's what it said on the blacktop outside of my elementary school, which I pass every day when walking back from the train station. At first I was thinking "why would they allow a child to write that on school grounds," especially when nicely juxta-posed with "you should always try to love everyone." Then the pop culture reference sunk in and I realized it pertained to The Jonas Brothers, the latest manufactured pop sensation. My girlfriend's ten year-old sister loves these bastards and has their posters all over her room. Frankly I wouldn't mind except these guys don't have crap on Backstreet and 'Nsync, in looks or musical talent. Hell, even O-Town is better. But some evil conglomerate keeps churning these out and the youth keeps eating it up, the youth that is, minus Amanda.

The day after observing this scrawl I found myself strolling through school grounds as per usual and came upon a mother and her daughter. At the time I am passing through, school has been out for several hours, so clearly this was an after-school function for which people were returning and the party I am about to examine in slightly more detail need not have been an elementary school student, but she certainly could not have been older than thirteen. As I am walking past, said eleven year-old (I know I said thirteen, but whatever) gives me a sultry up and down look that made me feel pretty disgusting and, perhaps worse, old. No, but seriously, what are they putting in milk these days? Actually, it must be something else, because I eat a lot of cereal and I'm not an overdeveloped, oversexed nine year-old.

Anyway, I'm writing this from the toilet and I don't want my ass to fall asleep, nor do I want to get to bed too too late, so my closing remark will revolve around my disturbing link of the day, which isn't totally unrelated to being checked out by seven year-olds [credit Dan on link].

Tomorrow (maybe) a list of some hilarious sites I came across today and in the meantime male readers go ahead and register your johnson.