There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I Gotta Feeling

I'm a couple of days late here, and that's not a period joke, period.

So before Passover is completely passed over, I figure I should clear up any lingering questions concerning what the limited lyrics of The Black-Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling" were and are about. They're talking about Passover, yes, the celebration of a lot of things, including painting a mark with some sacrificial lamb blood on your door so the lord would posach (the original Hebrew word meaning "pass over") your house. The Jews didn't let the Egyptians in on this one, so that last of the ten plagues could be visited: slaying of the first-born. If that's not a reason to sit reclining, I'm not sure what is.

I mean really, not a lot of things give you the feeling that tonight's going to be a good night quite like when your first-born doesn't die, right? Even matzoh seems delicious in that scenario. You can't even be bitter about maror (not Mordor) and it's really just a load of horseradish. Hell, when you leave your door open, nobody robs you, the prophet Elijah comes to visit. And the dude drinks some wine. Rabbis rejoice because they have a whole bunch of stuff to bless, and printers get excited to put that K on everything, a branding dream. They put real cane sugar in Coca-Cola, something they should be abel to do year round.

So even though historical tragedy is being highlighted, it's the story of redemption, so rather than make matzoh do about nothing, I will passover any additional jokes about this holiday. Even if it's past the official date, don't forget about purim some out for your Jewish homies.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Commenstrual Cycle

Yes, it's true, sometimes my post titles are only present to workshop a particularly bad pun. But here I'm actually thinking of the toxic comment streams (is this guy suggesting periods are toxic?) that develop all over the internet. With increasing integration with Facebook accounts and thus less relative anonymity, it's amazing what things people don't steer clear of saying. I guess that would be good if, by and large, so much of this wasn't so incredibly negative. Or maybe people are closer to telling the truth, and we're closer to understanding just what might be wrong with a lot of society.

It depends where you go. In the world of the snarky Gawker media network, well, you get what you expect. But while I can be overwhelmed by the negativity at times, there is often lots of really good stuff in there too. Either way the comment section is often more interesting than the article itself from a social study standpoint and all sorts of folks offer all sorts of related interesting reading in an attempt to prove a point one way or the other. It's refreshing that this reading and research is going on even if a lot on the internet is under-researched and under-verified. I'm wondering when or if some kind of grand curation will take place that verifies standard news. Currently, if something seems remotely sensational I've got to go and check five or so other news sources to see if it's at all true.

I wrote all of that last weekend, before I started reading about the Steubenville rape case. And when you read about that and see the reactions from people on the internet, well it swings back to the worst in people. I'm fresh off reading about the mass killings in Eastern Europe during the 1930s and 40s, and the mass rape that went on as well. Given the psychological implications of the aftermath of crimes against the person in which the victim is left alive, rape is up there as one of the worst things you can do to a person, male or female. Since there is often outcry about torture, how about thinking of rape as a type of torture? All of the contentions that a person "asks" to be raped are amazing. Many will argue it doesn't have a place even as a joke, but to me anything contentious has a place in humour — like adding the 'u' to humor. Humor has a lot of value in drawing attention to uncomfortable truths. It's not the same as facing them head on, but baby steps. There's been a lot of discussion about the use of rape in jokes and as tends to be the case, it's not if you use it, but how.

The problem is when people are serious about the "asking for it" line, or don't understand what might be a joke. What about the semantic argument that once you ask to be raped, it's not rape because rape is specifically when sex occurs against the will or without the consent of one of the involved parties? Regrettable sex and rape: not the same thing.

A good way to look at it is the following. If you are a dude and you are hanging out with people you know and you get too drunk, wouldn't you expect them not to rape you? I'm not saying you shouldn't be accountable for your actions. On the contrary I'm saying precisely that you ARE accountable for your actions. We don't know the full details of this case I suppose, but let's say that hypothetically in my own life, I've seen women get drunk and throw up. And that hypothetically I've also seen men get drunk and throw up. Some of these people, hypothetically, are friends of mine. Some of these hypothetical friends have witnessed me, hypothetically, get ill from drinking. On some of these hypothetical occasions the people in question were unconscious. And on none of these hypothetical occasions did any of us rape the other. It's almost like there is this understanding that I won't rape them because they wouldn't want to be raped, and neither would I. If I, hypothetically, drink too much, I don't blame anyone but me. But if someone comes along and rapes me, that I put on their shoulders (or more relevant body part).

If you don't agree with me on this topic, you probably haven't read this far, but if somehow you have, please imagine a scenario where you pass out and someone sticks their dick in you. This scenario applies to females and males. Once again, this is all "hypothetical." Would you blame yourself? Because many rape victims do. They think they must have done something wrong. This part isn't hypothetical, it is what happens. They question their actions when really they should be questioning the people they surround themselves with.  Remember, it's hard for someone to say no if they can't speak because they're unconscious.

It's easy to blame victims of rape when so many of these victims already blame themselves. That's why it has to stop. The blame. And the rape.

That's a wrap[e] for now.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Pi-le it on

Well it's Pi day, Pi day, this site's down on Pi day, which shouldn't be that surprising. I'm sure visitorship goes way up on Pi day itself. Incidentally, I shared that Rebecca Black link not just for the easy little jingle, but also because I'd never heard of Schooltube. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised it exists. And now I know the premier spot for teachers and students to showcase their video talents.

Don't neglect Filial Piday, reverence for all Pi days that came before. I'd really like this post to come full circle, even though it has yet to go on very long, but I'll need two pi to do that. And a radius. Keep your radii out for one for me, would you? I'm sure there's some great math [cir]conference where they'd dig that.

Alright, well that's enough free association for this occasion.

Don't fill up too much on pi[e] as just around the cor[o]ner is St. Patrick's Day. A quick google yields this parade link which is probably IP address targeting at work, but hey, they take this drinking holiday extra seriously out here in the [two sheets to the] Wind[y] City, so Chicago and St. Pat's are quite linked no matter. I just like that because it's

If you just parade for this entry to come to an end, you're in luck.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sinus Out

Generally I'm lucky enough not to be afflicted by illness, just bizarre lower leg pains and injuries and occasional bouts of whatthefuckiswrongwithourworld. Speaking to the latter I get both the "then" and "now" strains, and hell I'm not immune to the future one either. But when I am afflicted by traditionally defined illness, it tends to be my sinuses. Turns out it's not that fun to be under pressure and it makes me glad I don't have other afflictions of the head. Which is to say: headaches, migraines, and others of the ilk. There's plenty else wrong with my head.

At any rate, let's head on over to these by the time I've gotten around to posting them no longer recent WBEZ ads about making babies, like the one below.

First of all, babies are created not made. What's that you say, those are synonyms? I agree. I just felt like making a very idiotically contentious statement in order to make my actual criticism seem less ridiculous. Apparently some folks in the LGBT community felt these ads were exclusionary, but no one seems to be put out (truthfully I didn't google very hard) by the contention that listening to WBEZ makes you smart. I mean, it's a good association to make from the WBEZ standpoint. "Hey listeners, you already listen? Cool, well we're saying you're smart." And if you don't listen, it's all, "Well shouldn't I go and listen to this radio station so I'll be perceived as smart?" Or maybe it's, "Eff you WBEZ, I don't listen to your station, and I'm still smart." Actually, it's probably none of these because I'm already tired of my own analysis. Too bad (good thing) radio waves make you infertile.

I had all this shit I was going to say about puns, but I just said shit and so I should go clean up my language.

I suggest you take this opportunity to go nerm. Don't know what nerming is? That's because, aside from being some sort of chemistry event, a DJ, and a poorly defined and reviewed entry in urban dictionary, I thought it was a word I made up. I suppose not, even if my definition has yet to land on the internet. It seems a reasonable certainty it'll stay that way.

Right, time to go before this blows more than my nose.
Thanks for stopping by…you stay classy Planet Earth.