There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Preemptive Punxsutawney Phil Post

February 2nd, aka Groundhog Day is just around the corner, and considering that spring officially doesn't begin until March 20th or 21st, I think six more weeks of winter might be a guarantee irregardless (love those nonsense words that sneak into the dictionary through overuse of their misuse. When will my beloved believance join the fray?) of Phil seeing his shadow. Stationed briefly on the east coast, I can see the effects of a harsh winter with the snow piled mountainously and another storm allegedly on the way in hours. Yesterday, that being Sunday, the climate did make for quite perfect snowball snow and I was able to explore my waning athleticism as I struggled with my brother to hit various street signs. Mercifully I am not sore today, as that would have been some true, though light-hearted, embarrassment.

And after that action-packed opening I believe I should transition to further diminishing vitality. In other words, I am tired, but feel good about cranking out at least four posts per month. Would I prefer they be well-constructed? Sure, but it's simply not a reality and it would limit these recurring instances of my analyzing my failure to spawn content as opposed to simply writing content. And without that, I just might not be content.

One thing I can do is to take a moment to appreciate that to be using the internet is a privilege as, at the moment, those in Egypt have no such luxury. They are, it would appear, feeling e-gipped. That's a repeat and slight modification of a joke I posted to Twitter, but assuming you don't follow me there (could they have chosen a creepier descriptor?) it will be new to you. Stay warm and get some supplies those of you in areas of alleged incoming storms, just in case. This entry has snowballed from bad to worse. Cheers.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

People in Glass Apartments...

Who also happen to live in my building, get down with some crazy shit apparently. I was walking out to get myself some groceries the other day when I noted a gaping hole in a window at the other end of my floor in my building. How many times can I say my building? The thing is, I am pretty sure this apartment is rented by a couple with two small children. Perhaps now they only have one...But honestly these are some heavy-duty windows and it would take quite serious force to break them. What I'm saying is, I want to know what happened, and how I could not have noticed.

Just days ago, a friend of mine introduced me to the viral sensation "I hope this gets to you." I think the song is pretty delightful, and it even had this little story behind it, complete with Katy Perry finding out about it and sending a lot of attention the way of the song. The video is nifty too, reminiscent of perhaps some Labyrinth-era David Bowie and by that I mean a scene in Labyrinth pretty unrelated to David Bowie.

So it's a feel-good story until the sleuth work of an anonymous friend (and no, that is not a reference to google, but I believe he used that along with other social networks, those in real and fake life) uncovered some damning details. The woman behind the man who created the song is a student at Duke's Fuqua School of Business, where she is pursuing her MBA. It turns out she has, allegedly, been pursuing some other mba's (male boner assessments) down in Durham. I am saying allegedly because I don't want to be liable for libel. It's really not very nice to be even raising the rumor here on this blog, but man, somehow I had to.

The "girlfriend" is a student at Duke's Fuqua School of Business where she is pursuing her MBA, and has received several of her classmates mba's (male boner assessments). It seems then, that there is some bull going on in Durham. Now, I can't say whether the frontman to the band was aware of his girlfriend's infidelity and I might feel bad about bringing it to light, but I don't have quite the dilemma of Vince Vaughn, seeing as I do not know this fellow. Also, so few people read this blog, that, unlike his song, news is unlikely to get to him. Either he knows and it was all a marketing sham, or he doesn't know and his relationship is a sham. Again, this is all on alleged information. I'd make a bad journalist at this rate.

In happier news, I saw Lissie in concert the other day and good googley moogley that girl rocks it. She can sing her ass off, and just has so much soul, character, and depth. I'm saying I like the chick. I'm saying I would date her, if she'd only have me. But I'll settle for her continuing to make awesome music and continuing to do wonderful covers. I linked to a couple of them before I believe, so clicking the old Lissie label should take you there.

I'm a stickler for grammar, but there isn't a chance in Hell I've proofread this. Cheers.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Check Out My Website... Yes, every now and then the level of complaining I see when I'm listening into a conversation or perusing social networks gets me a little down so that I end up complaining about people complaining. This is not to say I don't complain about other things, but really, if you complain about really silly shit, please take the opportunity at times to acknowledge you are complaining about some really silly shit. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit...

In this instance the complaint in particular that spawned my ire was the bevy of teachers wishing for a snow day. Yes, we all remember being kids and hoping for a snow day. Heck, I actually kind of liked school, just not the getting up early part, and I still was down with snow days. But once that is your job and it is the kind of job where you are supposed to be inspiring children, or at least helping them in some regard, shouldn't you want to be going in? Or maybe we have different ideas about what a snowday is #cocaine. That's a bad pun wrapped in a twitter joke. It's been a while since I've explained a joke on here. Explaining jokes is my favorite.

Anywho, speaking of shit, the other day one of my homies alerted me to this little piece in The Awl about a Chinese restaurant with a restroom theme. That is to say a restaurant in China with decor that ranges from toilet seating to urinals on the walls. The menu is loaded with ill-named dishes.

Here's a look, courtesy of the original article.

The most wonderful quote closes that article, so good in fact that I had to bring it here. The words of a female student:
"I originally went in because I thought it was a toilet but then discovered it was a restaurant and decided to give it a try," she said.

The place is pretty much right up my alley. I am well-known amongst friends for talking extensively about bowel movements, getting a good kick out of a loud or awful-smelling fart, and so on. The throne room is one of my favorite places to check morning email. I'm sorry if that means maybe you don't want to borrow my laptop, but then it's not like I'm using the thing to wipe. Even eating in the bathroom, it's not as if you're eating off of the surfaces there, just within the confines of the space.

With no real clever segue in mind, I advise y'all to check out Alex Ebert (of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros) track Truth from his forthcoming solo album. It's got a very "Good Song" vibe in my estimation, and that's a good thing. I don't always like Blur, but when I do...And since I drop links to youtube in here with some frequency and I know how some of us out there might feel about the ads and whatnot, I'm throwing out this link for those who aren't in the know about quietube. I actually don't use it, but probably should. Instead I just mute my sound and do something else for 15 seconds.

I've been trying to stay on top of the news more in 2011, and it really seems like I'm not missing much in browsing the Google News that goes directly to my Safari toolbar. It did lead me to this Business Week article, however, on the stock implications of Steve Jobs' medical leave. It just seems incredibly sad to me that rather than a concern about Jobs' actual health, the focus is on how his absence will affect Apple shareholders. F#ckers.

Last but not least because I want to end on a high note, here's a choice read about good old Keanu Reeves. Journalistic bias be damned, if you don't like Keanu after that, you might not have a soul. Rock on Johnny Utah, Neo, Ted, and so much more...

Friday, January 7, 2011

New Year, Same Me?

The classic question as the new year arrives is "do you feel any different?" This same question follows the birth of humans, not just the anniversary of the date when we started keeping track of the years following the death of a certain fellow (also noted as Anno Domini). The classic answer is "no." Why should you? Unless some very significant event happens to coincide, you're really just a second older, so a rather arbitrary designation means little, but is celebrated. I have nothing against people heavily into their birthday or the new year, it's just not really a big deal to me. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy the way the celebrations sometimes go.

And while I've found many New Year's celebrations to be a bust, 2010 becoming 2011 is perhaps the best I have on record. No reason to redundantly reference the end of my last post of 2010, even though I just did it by making that reference, but you know what I mean. My resolution might be to call people out for not only not enjoying themselves, but rather actively sapping the fun from others. No names or anything (and not just because I forgot this girl's), but I happened to encounter an individual just last night who seemed so hell-bent on not having fun. Perhaps her version of fun is to not have fun. That seems like a contradiction of sorts but I think you follow. As usual, this is not to say I am never guilty of this gripe, but I think it is rare and has probably been quite some time since I've done so.

My goal for as long as I can remember has always been to spread mirth and make things as joyful for as many people as I can. Not everyone can sense this. Me and Pink, so Missundaztood... I was verging on detailing the events of 12/30-1/3 as they were rather absurd, but while this may be a personal blog, I don't know, it seems a little silly to chronicle it. Those strange memories and interactions can stay amongst the group that witnessed and participated. One interaction that I will cite, however, took place at a bar on a Sunday evening. This bar is known to have live band karaoke, which is one of my favorite things to participate in. Lacking the ability to sing, write songs, or play an instrument, it's the closest I will get to being in a band. One thing of which I may have a surfeit, is energy. So much so that, after singing rather energetically and continuing to get down, two patrons asked me if I had any powder, their assumption here, if you are not familiar with that lingo, that I must be on coke in order to be doing what I was doing. Don't worry mom, I can report that I have been coke-free since '83.

Long story somewhat abridged, if you're being a sourpuss in 2011, I'm liable to call you on it (except probably not). In addition, I had occasion to attend my first ever Chicago Blackhawks game recently, prompting a friend and I to speculate as to how they switch the surface from basketball court to ice rink, and back. Said friend speculated that the ice lay beneath the b-ball boards and was correct, with the following video serving as proof. It really is a fascinating vid. How that relates to being a sourpuss you ask? Look, just don't.

And it might be very 2010 (since the article was written in 2010) but this review of Keith Richards's memoir "Life" in the form of a fabricated response by Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger is quite awesome. I am a fan of many Stones tracks but didn't know much about the behind-the-scenes bits beyond Keith doing a lot of drugs. The article gives a pretty excellent (and, I think, even) summary of events. Whatever, read it if you want. Whatever, according to a friend, was voted the most annoying word of 2010. It has actually been voted as such two years running. Can it win out in 2011? Let's do whatever we can to keep it up there.

Seems like enough hogwash and jibber-jabber for now. Later on folks.
Thanks for stopping by…you stay classy Planet Earth.