There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Weather or Not, Here They Come

Back in the day, and by back in the day I mean a little over two years ago, I wrote a post pertaining to warm weather spawning crazy behavior. I'd link to it, but it's nothing too profound. I've got to say that whether or not the specific mechanism of the heat that causes people to react absurdly might not have been identified, it is always a key player in fact and fiction.

Evidence includes the increased number of shootings here in Chicago over Memorial Day weekend, when temperatures reached into the 90s. One simple factor could be people step out of their homes once it gets warm. Another could be that being overly hot irritates people. Here is where I plug the fictional reference of Albert Camus's The Stranger in. Specifically, when Meursault decides to shoot a man on the beach, largely on account of the excessive heat. Granted part of that is meant to be absurdist but I, for one, find it steeped in reality.

In me, hot weather doesn't inspire the desire to do physical harm to others, it inspires the desire to wear very little clothing, drink cold beer, and eat ice cream. That's as crazy as I get I guess.

On the topic of hot [sauce] I briefly contemplated, at the behest of a couple of chums, the Taco Bell equivalent of Super Size Me. I do eat there once or twice a week, but once or twice a day for month, though I think I could survive it, probably isn't the smartest idea. Not to say I haven't done many [more] stupid things in the past. Of course, if Taco Bell sponsored me to do it I might reconsider. Likewise if Keystone Light, Colt 45, or Jim Beam (I'd happily settle for Seagram's) offered sponsorship.

Anyway, shit, I'm real tired. Happy Memorial Day folks...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Los Suns

I am watching this Suns-Lakers game right now, and boy are these Suns likable. Sure I don't like the Lakers anyway, but seriously, hard not to love Steve Nash and the gang.

I should say was watching because I was paying close attention to the game and now it's pretty much resolved.

As I aim to hit my self-imposed quota on entries, I gotta say there's not a lot to say except to reaffirm my love for my alma mater, Wesleyan University. I certainly enjoyed my years there, but an action-packed seventy-two hours with the people I love really goes beyond compare. There's always the sense amongst older generations that things were better in their day, and while I might still try to contend that, there is still plenty of the wonderful energy of the Tech intact.

From tallying another deuce on the stall wall of beloved Olin Library to saying goodbye to MoCon, memories managed not to be tinged with sadness. Miller's Pond I love you, Wadsworth I love you. The only sadness was in realizing I don't get to see these amazing people more often. So this is basically another sincere thank you to Wesleyan for bringing together so many amazing people into one place. It's a privilege I wish I could bestow upon everyone.

I couldn't stop smiling the whole weekend and despite my extremely tired and depleted body, I'm still smiling now.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


I got an email the other day saying that sometimes the titles of my entries don't seem relevant to the content of my posts. I am tempted to say that, like the content of the entries themselves, they are largely irrelevant. I operate heavily on free association, so it can be confusing to follow how I get from A to B because I may frequently be going straight to C. It makes sense in my mind. Sometimes. For instance, last entry I titled "You Came in With the Breeze," and then proceeded to talk about Sunday morning. Those are, in fact, the lyrics, to a No Doubt song. Sometimes when I will look back at something I've written though, I do wonder where in the heckamadoodle it came from. So "F-word" is relevant in the sense that it's what I was listening to when I started writing this entry.

When you live a place, I think there can be a tendency to neglect a lot of the interesting places, judging them to be the touristy things to do. I hesitate to speak for all. I'm also pretty sure I've mentioned it before in this very blog. So it is that it's good when folks come to town to send you towards them. This past Saturday, that place was the Lincoln Park Zoo. Now, granted the weather hadn't been exactly tip-top, but nor was it this day and it did not matter. First stop, though, was the Lincoln Park Conservatory. Nature is a good thing, and the swampy atmosphere of the entryroom made this patron long for a little stint of jungle living. It works especially well when you move onto the flower room where the air is much cooler and less humid and imbued with the tasty scent of, well, flowers.

Having started strong, things really came together at the zoo. First of all, both of these venues are free of charge. Next you've got yourself lions, tigers, bears that I saw. To see a seven year-old (estimate) girl and her five year-old (also estimate) brother giggle at seeing the male lion's testicles is the kind of thing that can make you feel good about life. For me, it really came together in the primate wing. I seem to like that phrase "came together." I was more sure than ever of my brotherhod with the monkey masses, where the first group of little fellows were huddled together and had mohawk hairstyles, just as I do at the moment. They're cooler than me. Not all of evolution is a step forward. Some acrobatic apes and the imposing silverback gorilla add that much more. Often I am quite anal about getting in a run first thing to start my booze-recovered weekend mornings, but to step away from that structure and embrace the simplest and most satisfying of things was the right move.

In the vein of the amazing acrobatic motion of the apes whose name escapes me, I found myself watching a bunch of breakdancing videos for not-the-first time the other night. Some of these talented individuals have been brought into the mainstream as in this Ikea commercial. Likewise, this digital alteration of Fred Astaire with David Elsewhere's legs is quite enjoyable.

Also enjoyable is the Starz series about actor-waiters in the catering business entitled "Party Down." It should induce laughter.

That appears to have gotten long in a hurry. Such is my nature. I apologize. I'll end it, then, on a somber note, about the man who once photographed many of my high school cross country meets. You are entitled to think all of life is kittens, but don't forget that they may scratch.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

You Came in With the Breeze

Sunday morning as I was about to get on the train I was greeted by a trio of Cubs's fans with the following jingle, "Faux-hawk, sunglasses, we're good to go." I'm rather certain there was a quip about my vest too, but I forget what it was. Then another chimed in in a mock whiny voice, "Hoooooooo, I'm a writer..." That's a "who" sound, just to clarify. Now I was unaware that that's how writers usually dress but I don't mind that they were mocking me because it's the first time I was referred to as a writer. It is likely to be the last. And I did look like an asshole.

Today I saw multiple individuals drinking boxed water. Is this some new hip trend I am unaware of? I could solve this quickly with a google, but eff that. Also, I have grown increasingly self-conscious of my overuse of adverbs. Take for instance this paragraph. The two sentences preceding that last one each contain one, even the one noting my overuse of adverbs. The incidental irony was too good to go back and edit. That was nice and clear, right? Adverb overuse is bad writing I have read time and again, and yet it is so ingrained in me it hurts. Now that I am hyper aware, I hope to stray from it, but I believe it will be a long and arduous process. More direct, terse, and concise language and diction is the way to go. It's all active and whatnot. That's, like, my lesson, of the day.

I just noticed sitting here that my fly is down. I have to wonder who else noticed. I have to wonder why I should be all that concerned. I have successfully put my fly to half-mast. I believe that signifies wartime.

I have decided that I will start trying to pay attention to current events. I am horrendous at this and I am rather certain this was on my resolution list for the year. An adverb was lurking in that sentence. I beat it down. It hurt though. And "rather" is getting rather close. In an effort to do the current even thing I went to the CNN frontpage. Scrolling down I saw an article entitled "World's Oldest Person Dies. Isn't this in some ways an impossibility, as the moment they are deceased they cease to be the world's oldest person? It is probable that I am trying too hard. Lurking in the background is a current event pun surrounding Nashville flooding, but things aren't funny when they are natural disasters that destroy people's lives and homes.

And while it's not quite destroying peoples's lives in the same way, here's a good write-up on why to beware of Facebook. I wonder when its usefulness will outweigh these concerns because it's all flat-out pretty not cool. It has to be more than coincidence that you only have to change one letter to call him Mark Suckerberg, only I'm the sucker because I'm still a member. Remind me to transpose a short story onto my other blog tonight if I have time. And write a song parody. Thanks.
Thanks for stopping by…you stay classy Planet Earth.