There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Whirled Cup

I was sitting around watching the The World Cup the other day, and by the other day I could mean any number of days since I have been doing my darndest to watch as many matches as possible.

When I had my first intentions to write this post, England was still in the damned thing and I was all jazzed to post their current World Cup support song Shout by Shout England. Well I've posted it anyway because I rather fancy it. Just by thinking about England my writing takes on a decidedly more British tone. With the boys adorned with Three Lions gone home I've transferred my allegiance to Spain and the Netherlands.

Another team out is Portugal, with Ronaldo taking a lot of flack. I'm sure some of it is deserved, but Spain was the better team yesterday. I also find it amusing that he wears smaller shorts than the rest of the Portuguese team. Also, if anyone happens to have the Brazil v. Portugal match on DVR/TiVo, I recommend skipping to ~65:20 to catch slow-motion action of Raul Meireles and some other dude on the Portuguese squad (yeah, I didn't recognize him) making obscene gestures. There is also a complete break in the commentary at that point. I found it very likable. Uh, it'll make more sense if you see it, I promise.

I'll just be looking forward to some good soccer/football and I have to say, I enjoy the vuvuzelas. When I turn on the TV or stroll into a bar, that distinctive humming reminiscent of a swarm of bees is a comforting sign that I am watching the World Cup.

Speaking of out, Roger Federer out of Wimbledon? Say it ain't so (and if you read back, you'd know I was not always his number one fan). Oh, and the pride parade. I missed most of it but there was plenty of spectacle in the aftermath and it led to the good cheer that had me say yes to the unusual mixed drink offered me by four soccer moms I met on the El.

Right, so then I all forgot what else I meant to talk about in this entry but I felt like dropping it while it was still June. One thing, and this is not the first time I've noticed, is how easy it is to hate people purely through the internet and interpreting/sensing what they were thinking by sharing (and not sharing) certain things.

But that is dumb, and won't advance you anywhere, so instead, let's embrace how you can love people through the internet, like when it's clips of Ron Artest on Jimmy Kimmel Live. If you want that eight minutes back, send me a message and I'll see what I can do.

If I don't make it back here by then, happy 4th of July folks.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Summer Salt-Sticks

I do have to wonder, at times, if the mind works slower in the heat. I think excessive temperatures in either direction might slow it down a tick. The thing is, it hasn't even gotten all that hot yet, so I could be skirting a dangerous line of unproductivity. This is sometimes referred to as laziness. It is true that certain factors, environmental and otherwise, can influence such a broad term as productivity, but that is where that thing called adaptability is meant to step in.

Speaking of stepping in, another potential distractor could be my potentially broken foot. We're talking all kinds of potential here. That thing is always acting up, I swear. Not that I give it the greatest of care perhaps, but really the thing can be re-goddamned-diculous. I am going to be one crippled-ass old man if they don't step it up on bionic limbs.

But I didn't mean to hate on the heat, I do like it to be hot, it's just that I am one of the sweatiest humans alive. I probably wouldn't like it anyway but there is sort of a social stigma against sweating. I try to own it, but it can be tough. I try to determine whether it makes it seem as if I am a) a crackhead, b) someone hurrying everywhere, c) just plain gross, or d) a combination of some of those three preceding letters. Those aren't much in the way of choices, but remember what I said about productivity struggles?

But rather than productivity, we should be worrying about the quality of life. Having lived in and around big cities most of my life, there's this Danish fellow Jan Gehl who really helps get at getting it right. He's all about pedestrian and cyclist friendly cities and dope public spaces. I am not sure how he feels about public dope spaces, that's more of an Amsterdam thing, and Gehl tends to get down more in Copenhagen. And another bright spot out of Copenhagen or at the least Denmark, is singer-songwriter Sys Bjerre. All I've heard, courtesy of the sis, is embedded below. And in case you're wondering, yes, there are some f-bombs and other English sprinkled in with the Danish. So I leave you with this delightful video and, if I could, a tasty danish just as my boys at Entenmann's have managed for years.

Friday, June 18, 2010

There's No Such Thing as Free Advertising?

Product placement cracks me up, always has. The other night I was watching the late late show with Fallon and he's got a Macbook on his desk in clear view at the edge of the frame. Why? Is Jimmy checking his email during the show? I don't think he actually used it or anything it was just...there. So, right, why?

On perhaps the very same evening, or at least a similar one, I was tucked into bed, laptop screen creepily illuminating face as I caught up on Gossip Girl. At the end of episode 20 of this season (spoiler alert), Jenny uses Bing! to do a search on cancer. Bing! That's the sound of producers cashing in on ad dollars. Not to be outdone, in the very next episode Blair is seen sleuthing on her Macbook. But Apple doesn't even really do search, so Microsoft should be looking to make Bing! a Mac thing too. And here I am talking about Bing! on blogger, owned by search giant Google. What's a boy to do?

Now I'm fairly certain I've raised this issue before, but stepping back to Gossip Girl, why don’t they actually drink from coffee mugs on the show? Anything in a mug, I promise you, empty. It’s a minor detail, but it just looks silly so why not make it minor and realistic. I don't get it. One more reason I will never make it to Hollywood.

As I was sitting sipping coffee just two days ago, I reached into my pocket to answer a phone call, only to discover what seemed to be sand all up in my phone. Know what I'm sayin? But really, there was. A bit baffled, I investigated said pocket in said shorts (as yet unsaid it seems) to find a sand-like substance in there. This, I admit, was the first wearing of now said shorts and I do not wash my clothes before wearing. I don't even wash them after wearing if I can avoid it. A Marshall's purchase, they were probably stripped from a man who died on the beach. Hey, whatever they have do to keep my designer clothes (including designers I've never heard of) cheap...Oh and, like, TJ Maxx owns them, right? That was rhetorical. So why is there little crossover? That's rhetorical too. It's so it's so much damned fun every time you walk in.

In fact, I might head there after this England match on my way to work. I hear they've got discounted NBA, MLB, and World Cup officials. There are some irregularities, sure, but you can't beat the price!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Where Do The Days Go

Hot shit, maybe it's the rain, and maybe it's how good this M. Ward song is, and maybe it's a little bit of both but I have been rocking out to "Poison Cup" a good dozen times in a row here. Rocking may not been the proper terminology to describe this particular track but it will work well enough. Listen to this song and tell me you don't like it. But then at least tell me why.

Two days late, I gotta give it up for Sunday as a solid sports day. Nadal winning the French Open (I have shirked my largely unfounded dislike for Federer after learning he is not a robot, but man I do like this Nadal character), the Celts evening their series with the Lakers, and the 'Hawks grabbing a 3-2 lead over the Flyers. Tonight not so much as the Lakers downed the Celts this time. I'll hope for a 'Hawks close-out tomorrow.

How is it possible for a watch to cost ~$525,000?

After long delay I dropped another short story today, and should be putting a 30-minute parody together in the next day or two. Suggestions on a daily tweet theme for July are very welcome.

Next order of business before I forget is to plug the return of Balke to the blogosphere. He's dropping fresh new concept songs pretty much once a day. They are, honestly, awesome. On the subject of songs, I must also plug Kelly McFarling and Tim Johnson's duet performance of the MGMT hit "Kids" that I thought I would have posted back in my homage to WesTech, but apparently did not. They're both supremely talented and you can catch more of Kelly's folky excellence here.

And, well, I was going to discuss that story about the chick who says she was fired from a bank for being "too sexy." I guess I am discussing it, but since I think the whole thing is more of a publicity stunt than a valid case, I didn't want to lend much credence to it. I mean, I don't doubt she was harassed, but upon listening to her interview, her intelligence and ability to perform her job is drawn into question. Also, though mentioned in at least one article, they largely gloss over the fact that her looks may have helped her get hired in the first place. Ah balls, that's more than enough for the moment. Cheers folks.
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