There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Friday, October 31, 2008


It seems I fell off the map there for a while on the whole blogging thing so, welcome back me. I've had plenty of retarded thoughts as usual just not quite the energy and/or time to put them down I guess. Anyway, I figured on this sacred holiday I would have to take the opportunity and put at least a little something together.

Corny bastard that I am, all day I have been thinking they should have a separate (or concurrent) holiday called "Hallowmean" on which people will deliver formulaic put-downs to those around them that they do or do not like, via sarcasm and "pretend" sarcasm. Example jokes include, "Hey, is that your costume? What are you supposed to be an ocular feces detector." Admittedly that one sucks, but after eating four donuts and some other halloween candy at the office, not to mention my cart food lunch, I am feeling a little warm in the face and slow in the mind. Also factor in that I woke up at 5:40am did some sit ups and push ups, went for a five mile run and watched the most recent episode of Gossip Girl on the train commute. And since this had my brain reaching for any recent information, the prevalence of the denunciator "shiteyes" in the Hunter S. Thompson book I'm reading was the first thing that popped into my gourd. But you get the idea. Unfortunately, this idea sucks. How about instead "Hallowmean" defines the average Halloween. Eh, eh? Yep, I'm extra fucking retarded today.

Another thing bothering me a lot recently is something I probably already wrote about in here. But since I can't be sure (I could be, by looking, but that would be logical), I'll talk about it anyway, and pose it in classic Seinfeld style. So really, what's the deal with doctors? I have to give them 24 hours or more of notice to cancel or I get charged, but they can cancel on me whenever they want? Shouldn't they be paying me? Or give me a voucher for a free visit or something? And what's the deal with public transportation? If it comes early I'm screwed. If I come early, I just have to wait. Same goes for if it's late. If I miss the train, the train doesn't miss me...There seemed like more to complain about when I was discussing this on not the internet.

Anyway, that's more than enough. I'm gonna try to get my ass back to blogging a bit more regularly. Oh, and Happy Halloween mmmmmmmuuthhhhaaaaafuuuuccckkkkkkkaaaaaaasssss.

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