There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Flying With Sprinkles

The event that links to this title took place some weeks back now, but it reoccurred to me after viewing the sprinkles in question in my kitchen cabinet. You see, as I stepped on a flight from New York (LaGuardia, specifically, and I add these details lest the consideration be greater security in a city such as this) I placed my bag through the x-ray machine on the conveyor belt and then opted for a pat down because I like strangely gloved human contact with strangers, bit which I mean I don't want any more radiation coursing through my glowing veins.

As I stood awaiting my bags, an officer asked who the proprietor of a blue duffel-like bag was, and I noted it was I. He asked if I had any bottles in my bag and I responded that there were not, just some stroopwafel, an electric shaver, a rooster cutting board, deodorant, contact solution, and, oh yes, some sprinkles. They removed the sprinkles and my bag got the all clear. I don't know why these sprinkles would appear in bottle form through an x-ray machine (they come in a box), nor what about their constitution suggestions explosive or questionable properties, but I'm a little skeptical about eating them, even if my sister did bring me them all the way from the land of nether.

In more recent dopey news, a man took a picture of me with his iPad yesterday on the El. Not that it's a big deal so much as it's incredibly obvious when one does this. "Oh hey I'm just holding up my iPad for a second and pointing it towards you before I put it away. Was I taking a picture? No, come on, that's crazy, who would do that to a complete stranger standing on a not even moderately-packed train. You're not going to bother repeating this story are you? That would be more embarrassing for you than it would me."

Let's close August out with something fun. Too lazy to see if there is already a tumblr with captioned stock photos, I've put together the first entry based on searching servers on These are some great shots. And I'm sharing my search string because all I actually searched for was "server images." But since it's the internet, they need to autofilter for nudity. How presumptuous of them that I didn't want naked servers! The string :[]=Photography&exclude_nudity=true&nudity_checkbox_exists=1&entered_not_these_words_field=

And some great photos.
When the yellow cord connects and you press the "u" key we automatically become stylish and get ties.  Dude, it's kind of warm in this room. Shouldn't have pressed "u."

This server is protected by a fucking ninja. Or a gay cat-burglar ballerina...aka American Ninja.

Thankfully, god has helped serve the servers.

Oh man, this guy totally pitched a tent in the server room...hehehe.

That seems like too much already. Have a nice three-day weekend those of you that get it. And remember, Labor Day are just as good as other puns, there's no need for a vacation.

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