There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Poorscription Belts

The other day I scheduled myself an eye exam in the hopes of once again being able to wear contacts. I have glasses, I just rarely wear them. Reasons for this include, in no particular order: worry that they will fall off my face, that feeling and indentation they leave on the bridge of your nose, lack of peripheral vision, and vanity/attempts to not look too nerdly.

The reason I had stopped wearing contacts hearkens back to my days as a camp counselor, when some campers decided it would be a great idea to put hay all over my head. As it happens, this was not a great idea and instead resulted in my eyes becoming violently inflamed. An exam at that juncture noted the presence of bumps on my eyelids. I took some prescription anti-histamine eyedrops, resumed wearing contacts, and resumed having big-ass problems for a year or so before I just decided to call it quits.

So the guy I went to see the other day, and I must preface this by saying that I liked him and he seemed knowledgeable, prescribed some eyedrops to use for a week before retrying contacts, and to continue use of ever after. They turned out to be motherfucking expensive so I went and had a read of the pamphlet that comes with the prescription. Here it is, verbatim:

Uses: This medication is an anti-histamine used to treat itching and redness in the eyes due to allergies. This medication is not recommended for the treatment of eye irritation due to contacts.

And since I was discussing medication side effects only just last week, here is a prime example:

Side Effects: Headache, blurred vision, burning/stinging/redness/dryness of the eye, eyelid swelling, or a feeling as if something is in your eye may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, notify your doctor or pharmacist

Considering I have no current eye irritation symptoms, I've decided to go ahead and veto this prescribed course of action.

In much more important news, I was sitting at a meeting yesterday when I realized something I may have been doing incorrectly my entire life, namely belt direction. I have always fed the tail of the belt through the right front belt loop, so that the buckle is on the right and, when the tail of the belt is tucked, it's to the right. What I noted in this meeting, however, was quite the opposite. I am fairly certain every single other belt wearer in there had the tail fed through the opposite loop and thus ended with it tucked to the left. Feeling that this could be some sort of salad fork/dinner fork etiquette question, I tried buckling my belt the reverse and, perhaps, correct way today. Needless to say, this did not work. It was like trying to throw a ball or write with your non-dominant hand (assuming you aren't ambidextrous). When I went to the bathroom I found it so annoying to undo my belt, that I ultimately returned it to my usual set-up. It got me thinking it might be something like button up shirts, where men's and women's have opposite sides, and that I was perhaps belting my pants in a feminine manner. Anyone with any insight, feel free to chime in on this one.

What's with the cold-ish weather these days?

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