There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Friday, February 18, 2011


We've all made them, like that girl I got pregnant (sorry) and not wearing a jacket when I went outside today. It would seem in both cases my mistake was in the lack of jacket. And while in the first case I didn't go through with it, in the latter I decided to stick it out (in the first case in would seem to be apt). Sure I could have gone back inside for a jacket, but that would make me a bitch! Or sensible. Also, the first scenario, so far as I know, has yet to occur for me. Ladies, if it has, and you're reading, you probably should have mentioned something much sooner. Furthermore it should have been abundantly clear through this blog alone that I am probably not the man you want raising your children.

Moving right along then, the weather is getting warmer and that means it's still not warm enough to not wear pants. The other day, had I been running, I would have opted for the pantsless approach but I was not so I did not. Often I am intrigued to make my old jeans into cut-offs for limited summer engagements, but golley gee it's the crotch that goes first! Shouldn't it be the crotch that comes first...But really, last night I was taking a deuce break at DSW Shoe Warehouse and I noted, for the first time in this particular pair of pantolons, two vampire-bite-like holes in the rear crotchal region. My concern wasn't so much that they were there at the moment so much as it was how long they had been there. Luckily my general assholistic fashion provides good enough cover that many may have assumed or presumed that it was purposeful. Or maybe, just maybe, people aren't looking at your ass you egotistical self-centered sonofabitch...

In musical news that isn't the Grammy's — at least not this years — I have been jamming to British sensation Adele, more specifically "Someone Like You." It is a sexy number if you want to use sexy improperly, but it is totally awesome. Anyway, if you haven't heard of Adele, and you probably have, then you should. Listening to her speak of heartache at 21 is, for me, a little easier to relate to than when I heard Commander Venus doing the same as a 13 year-old. I still can't believe she is only 21. Here's to talented people making me feel old and unaccomplished.

In musical news that is the Grammy's, people were in a pretty big uproar about Justin Bieber's lack of awards. I admit I was surprised and I am neither pro-Bieber nor overly knowledgeable about music. The uproar did spawn responses such as a"Who Is Arcade Fire" Blog. I looked at only a couple of posts before I had to turn away in horror before my brain exploded with pop references and the inevitable creation, evolution, and extinction by overuse of some meme in particular. Anyway, if I had to guess, the blog was created by people who like Arcade Fire and think it is funny the responses people have to there Grammy success. I think Arcade Fire is okay. I am glad I watched the Grammy's to see Cee-Lo and Gwyneth Paltrow sing "Forget You."

People have been loving slo-mo stuff since at least the Matrix ('97), so you'll probably like this too. It isn't even really new news that Border's is on the way out but it kind of depresses me like shit. And I didn't even really go to Border's all that much.

Since I want to end on an uplifting note, I suggest you go take a ride in an elevator...that joke has its ups and its downs. Stay fresh folks.

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