There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Luke Skywalker

In my last post, I have to admit, I was being a bit of an Angry Amy, a Bellicose Betty (a Belligerent Bertha if you will), a Cantankerous Carlie (some might say a Choleric Clara), a Dark Diana, an Exacerbated Edna (or perhaps an Enraged Ellen), Fuming Francine, Grumbling Greta, Harsh Harriet, Incensed Ingrid (better than an Irate Iris?), a Jerkish Jennie, though certainly not a Kindly Karen or a Loving Loretta, though perhaps a Misanthropic Moira, a Not-nice Nancy, an Ornery Ophelia, Pissed Penelope, at least something of a Queer Qadira, augmented with a touch of Raging Rhonda, Seething Samantha, Tempestuous Tess, Unsound Ursula, Violent Violet, Whip-Wielding Wanda, Xylenous Xena, and Yammering Yolanda, but in all I'm just more of a Zany Zabrina.

I had to take a liberty or two there, like turning xylene into an adjective, and hyphenating whip-wielding for triple Scattergories points, but such is life.

1:51 AM is brought to you by Bacardi...

At this point my soul's grown old and rusty, burnt beneath the rising sun, it's locked up like a trophy, forgetting all the things it's done, and though it's been a long time I'm right back where I started from. I see it in my eyes, tonight I'm giving up the gun.


  1. Wow, that was sweet. I knew a Yolanda, and she was quite the yammerer (speaking of wow, is "yammerer" even a word?). Also, not to burst your bubble, but I know a very not-kindly Karen, in fact she should be put down, ha ha (only "ha ha" if you threaten to call the cops, wahahaha). And when are you going to come out with a guy-name version of this? And finally, it's okay to post at 1:51 AM, it's 2:58 AM as I comment, and I have posted later than that before.

  2. P.S. What does Luke Skywalker have to do with this?


Thanks for stopping by…you stay classy Planet Earth.