There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't go to school. That really was me, even if the Crash Test Dummies happened to reference it years before. Maybe they were just prognosticating my life because clearly I'm the only person who those vague circumstances befell. But then my hair didn't turn from black into bright white. My voice did manage to deepen in those six plus weeks though.

Moving on, in my last post I alluded to launching a couple of new blogs. I knew this was ambitious since I don't (mercifully) write in this one all that much even, but they have been launched. You can read my song parodies over at The Parody Pariah. Remember how Pop-Tarts were so cool they were hot?(I didn't embed that because I don't know, I didn't, and that was back before they frosted the Pop-Tarts; the dark ages if you will, of only traditional diabetes). You'll also note that I put a parenthetical after punctuation, and then punctuated it. This is grammatically incorrect but man, it looked weird without that period. The point was that that blog right there will shoot to be so bad it's good. I didn't place time constraints on my production to cover my ass either. If left longer to compose those things they'd only be worse. I basically just get a feeling and ride it out, hence the gross inconsistency in consistency of my posting here.

The short story blog has been named and vaguely described as well, titled Fetor Hepaticus. I just thought it had a nice sound to it there. I've yet to actually produce a short story for it. I might put up a rejected submission to a website or something, but I'd rather spontaneously concoct something. So stay tuned for posting at an indeterminate or, to be determined, time.

The only other thing I'll give some brief face time because I've got some other pressing matters to get to is the Academy Awards. I never really used to watch, but since 2007, I have seen at least fifty-percent of them. So with not a ton of frame of reference, major props to Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. As far as I'm concerned, best hosting ever, well-played on the heels of a horrendous opening number from Neil Patrick Harris. I love the shit out of that guy, and I am far from alone in this, hence his choice for the opening number, but man was it bad. As someone who can't sing I can say we can smell our own, so having him sing was rough. See also the gaudy tuxedo jacket (was that what it was?) and lyrically the song was trite, not tight. Again, as a lyrical non-genius, I can smell out crap lyrics as well.

The other difficulty in critiquing anything about the oscars is that I hadn't seen most of the films. This is generally a problem as I am not the moviegoer I once was and, in fact, halfway through I watched Inglourious Basterds for the first time. On the strength of not seeing any of the other movies, I still am tempted to say it deserved more than just the best supporting actor nod. No matter, awards ceremonies are inherently contentious, so my only real gripe was Sandra Bullock. I know, I didn't see the movie, but I did read the book. On the strength of that and having seen The Net, Speed, parts of While You Were Sleeping, and parts of Miss Congeniality, not to mention the clips they show at the oscars, I can safely say that I have no idea how she won. Not having seen any of the other movies that featured nominated actresses, Helen Mirren or that girl from Precious probably should have won. I'd say who cares, but I just wrote a paragraph about it so I guess at the least I must care a little bit. No need for sour grapes, makes for bad w[h]ine. I will never be on the academy.

I'd say that's more than enough for the time being. Anyone else getting tired of Morgan Freeman? I never thought I would say that. Ted Robbins anecdotal intro was awesome though. Yup.


  1. Congrats on your new blogs, I will be sure to check them both out! And you're right, posting things when they pop in your head is a good idea. The only reason I have a set date for my short stories is because otherwise I wouldn't do them, and if I did, I would use up all my material all at once and it would be no fun 'cause I'd run out of things to write about and therefore wouldn't have anything else to post and it would be pointless. So yeah, if that made any sense. Plus, I like to leave my followers hanging all week long.
    Also, Pop-Tarts were created to give us all diabetes (it's a conspiracy!), I never watch the Academy Awards, the only reason I watched like, fifteen minutes of it was to see if Hugh Laury would win anything (but then I gave up before I could find out because I got bored), improper use of grammar is fun sometimes (and even funner when you accidentally use it wrong but then act like you did it on purpose), and you named your short story after "breath of the dead", something you get when you have liver failure? That's a very strange thing to do...I like it!

  2. Also, regarding your "about me" thingy: It would have been way more annoying of you to put the end part, "I suppose some of this could really have been covered under 'interests.'" Only instead of just "interests" in quotations, you put "INTERESTS" in "quotations", CAPS, and italic (sorry, can't use italic in comments). But what do I know, I'm just being annoying, heheheh...(No really, I'm just messin' with ya, not criticizing)


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