There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Vanilla Al Yankovic (With Eminems)

Besides being a household cleaner and a crappy Jack Nicholson movie, pledge is, like, a promise. That was sort of the premise in that Nicholson flick. I am no great judge of cinematic quality, but trust me, you can safely leave that one off your list. So right now I'm making a pledge to drop a [b]log in here at least once a week. And since lots of the time, especially lately, they don't make any sense whatsoever, it's really the least I can do, for myself. I'm also going to relaunch a blog concept I had about two years ago that I never committed to and never took off the ground. It'll be a spinoff blog comprised of song parodies. I actually did this in the past, but yeah, as I said, I didn't commit. Okay, there it is, I have problems with commitment. But now I'm back, and these parodies will be just as awful as ever. I'm going to try to keep them PG (pretty good), but inevitably some profane language and themes are bound to enter the scheme hence the titling of this entry (I love explaining myself).

Now, I know precisely what failed to keep me rolling last time, and it was suggestions. So if you make it over to said blog (which doesn't exist yet, still thinking of a title, which is code for haven't written a parody lately) please suggest songs and, if you please, the new theme that you would like to see adopted in the song. I don't really like to promote my shit because I find that obnoxious and all, but if you stumble upon it, great. The guidelines will be that I must produce all said parodies in under half-an-hour. This is more for my attention span than Domino's sake. Perhaps I can open with a whole album of Dylan tribute entitled "Blog on the Tracks." Except that could be difficult, so consider that rescinded. I may also finally launch my short-story blog. I've been resisting both since a) I am fragile and sensitive to criticism; b) there is enough trash google already has to sift through; and c) invent another reason.

Quickly, in the interest of poor branding, I noted the name of a brand of pancake and waffle mixes the other day as Krusteaz. Now I understand that might be a family name, but we've got Ellis Island right? No, but really, when I am thinking about how to start my day, it's not usually with a short-stack of crusty-ass pancakes...then again, why not?

Other than that, if you ever take anything in this blog at face value you might be in worse shape than the world economy, or my checking account. I don't know why I stay in the black since everyone else seems to get rewards for going red. On that note, maybe I will do my taxes.

1 comment:

  1. I say go for it. On the new blogs, I mean. And about the parody one: The only song suggestions I can think up are My Humps by Black Eyed Peas, or something like that. 'Cause that song is already funny, and if you can manage to make it even funnier, you would be the master of all funny things that are funny. But it's most likely been done a lot, so don't pay attention to my stupid suggestion (unless you miraculously find it useful).
    What I would mostly look forward to seeing is a short story blog, though. I'm an avid reader and an aspiring writer, so reading other's work really gets me worked up (I'm saying work too much, aren't I?). And don't worry about criticism, I at least, am not the type of person to judge fellow writer's abilities. And besides, I think you're a good writer (at least what I've read in this blog is good). So go for it, and have fun! And don't forget to put some links up on this blog so we can all share in the fun!!!
    Good luck, M.E.


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