There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Cramps

The Cramps were a band that I knew nothing about save for the fact that one of my middle school classmates was often wearing a shirt sporting their name. Even with the power of the Internet, I never really delved into giving them a listen, and that streak continues since I'm seated in a public place and my headphone jack is broken.

But the real reason I've mentioned cramps is because, of late, it appears I am the number one result for the term "grundle cramp." I thought briefly it might be time to retire from blogging as a result, but due to the manner in which google functions, I believe I must continue to update this thing in order to remain atop the rankings.

Mercifully, long has it been since I have had a grundle cramp. They can be quite terrible indeed. Rather than the painful seizing of a muscle that renders a part of the body near inoperable, this is predominantly a sharp pain, crippling in its own right, as if someone decided to stab you from within the depths of your nether-regions. It's just confounding when it happens because you don't really consider that whatever is in there—probably the pc muscle—is ever even doing all that much. In my limited and yet too vast experience it seems to be brought on by awkward foot planting. Like dropping from a ledge one is hanging on that is just a touch too high. Dehydration is surely a factor as well, as it tends to be in most cramping, but even with proper vitamin volume and hydration, that awkward drop can get the grundle going. As for overworking the grundle, I believe this happens when trying to cut off a urine stream, or other fluid that may be trying to rundown the wee wee.

As that is far more into detail than I really intended to get, let's hope that keeps me atop the grundle cramp leaderboard a little longer and may I not speak of it until it crops up in search terms that land folks at my blog again.

And that's apparently all my brain could put together at this moment. That's the way it is sometimes folks, that's the way it is sometimes. Stay friendly folks, and smile like you mean it.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by…you stay classy Planet Earth.