There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I Gotta Feeling

I'm a couple of days late here, and that's not a period joke, period.

So before Passover is completely passed over, I figure I should clear up any lingering questions concerning what the limited lyrics of The Black-Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling" were and are about. They're talking about Passover, yes, the celebration of a lot of things, including painting a mark with some sacrificial lamb blood on your door so the lord would posach (the original Hebrew word meaning "pass over") your house. The Jews didn't let the Egyptians in on this one, so that last of the ten plagues could be visited: slaying of the first-born. If that's not a reason to sit reclining, I'm not sure what is.

I mean really, not a lot of things give you the feeling that tonight's going to be a good night quite like when your first-born doesn't die, right? Even matzoh seems delicious in that scenario. You can't even be bitter about maror (not Mordor) and it's really just a load of horseradish. Hell, when you leave your door open, nobody robs you, the prophet Elijah comes to visit. And the dude drinks some wine. Rabbis rejoice because they have a whole bunch of stuff to bless, and printers get excited to put that K on everything, a branding dream. They put real cane sugar in Coca-Cola, something they should be abel to do year round.

So even though historical tragedy is being highlighted, it's the story of redemption, so rather than make matzoh do about nothing, I will passover any additional jokes about this holiday. Even if it's past the official date, don't forget about purim some out for your Jewish homies.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by…you stay classy Planet Earth.