Recently I decided to go ahead and finally add links to my blog. This is a fairly common practice by bloggers and websites of most any sort for that matter, but in the past I'd strayed from it, mostly because I don't really go to all that many websites. I won't deny that there are those occasions on which I piss away gross amounts of time on the internet, but the sad truth is I only really check about four websites. So why are there already five links, with surely more to follow? I don't know either. The fact is, I only check two of those sites regularly: Wikipedia and ThreeQ. That being said, I almost never go directly to wikipedia, opting almost uniformly to google something and then select the wiki entry, which ends up generally in the first couple of search results. Why I do this, again, I have little explanation. Sites like TMZ and Perez Hilton, same thing holds true. Periodically I hear a rumor about some celebrity, google it, and end up with a TMZ or Perez entry as a top search result. From there I go on to read any manner of crap from these and many other sites, wasting copious quantities of time and gleaning little in the way of actualy useful knowledge, but rarely at a loss for celebrity slip-ups. Still, by visiting such sites bi-weekly at best, it's amazing the kinds of gossip you can miss. Don't talk to me for two weeks, and you probably only miss four or so boxes of cereal and about thirty-one bowel movements.
The next thing I wanted to address concerns noted sex educator Sue Johanson. Last night I happened to catch a chunk of her show Talk Sex With Sue Johanson which, yes, is on Oxygen, the network for women. I'm happy to note their lineup also includes Xena: Warrior Princess starring good old Lucy Bra-less. Since I never had cable at home, I actually used to watch Xena sometimes, though it didn't have crap on the Hercules show from which it spawned.
Getting back to Sue, then, the format of her show involves viewers calling in to ask Sue any manner of question they have regarding sex. It quickly became evident that there is no call screener for stupidity level of question, but it does drive home a good point: sex education is not as superfluous as a lot of people might like to assume. My favorite question, then, came from, I believe, Tammy in Ohio, with runner up going to another Tammy, this one from Florida. I'd heard some pretty inane things on lovelines back in the day with Adam Corolla, but these may have taken the cake. Tammy II (that is, Tammy from Florida) detailed how she and her boyfriend liked to incorporate eating into their sex life and asked for information on the feasibility of using chocolate syrup and peanut butter in the box realm. True to form, Sue didn't flinch and addressed the effect the syrup in particular would have on the pH, but unfortunately I missed the reasoning behind the shortcomings of, in particular, crunchy peanut butter.
Of course, it's easy to not flinch at a question like that when Original Tammy starts out asking "can you get AIDs from anal sex in the butthole." Well Tammy, where else exactly did you plan on having anal sex? When Sue went on to ask if Tammy's fiance had ever been a drug user, Tammy responded in the affirmative. When Sue then advised a condom always be used Tammy replied that "condoms are expensive…what about saran wrap?" I want so bad for this to be funnier than it is sad…
So to get back to humor quickly before I close things out, let's talk Lance Armstrong. I'll admit I was never a Lance fan, but after just reading his autobiography, It's Not About the Bike, that really changed. Armstrong famously battled cancer to go on to win a record seven straight Tour de France victories. But what could very well be the most miraculous aspect of Lance's life is Sheryl Crowe's explanation for why their relationship ended. Apparently she had no idea that Lance's treatment for, and recovery from, testicular cancer, just might have left him sterile. Poor Sheryl, she just wanted to soak up a son…
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