There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Warm Weather Spawns Crazy Behavior

I don't know if this is actually true. The things I've witnessed lately haven't even been all that strange, as I'd actually consider them more lapses in judgment or amusing coincidences. But I thought I read somewhere at sometime that climate changes can trigger changes in behavior. How about we just say maybe it has influenced or affected standard mental function.

Before I forget, this morning as I exited Penn Station the viral advertising offering of the day was Crick-ettes. Mine happened to be bacon and cheese flavored. This was sponsored by Bizarre Foods and was accompanied by an iTunes gift card to download three free episodes of the show. I wonder how many people will tune in as a result. I know I won't, and not just because I don't have the Travel Channel. I feel I should point out that these mf's contain silicon dioxide. While I don't exactly treat my body as a temple when it comes to my dietary choices, I think I can do without any of this shit in my system. Sounds awfully like ingesting glass particles to me. Holler at me if you want a little sampler of bacon and cheese flavored crickets.

So last week — Thursday evening sounds about right — I decided I would go out for a three mile run. I hadn't run in about eight-plus weeks and while my legs certainly weren't healed, I don't plan on them healing anytime soon either. It's the "fuck it" attitude that tends to get my body in trouble but, at the same time, if I listened to my body, I might never move. So right, as I'm striding jauntily (I just really wanted to say striding jauntily and I'm not sure it even applies) down an incline in one of my usual haunts I note a Volkswagen wagon running a stop sign. Maybe not such a big deal, but it was going to run the stop sign and barrel on into me. So I paused for a moment, pointed at the large stop sign, did the shoulder shrug, shook my head at a medium speed, and continued on my merry way, hoping to be able to drop a wave or a finger later should our paths briefly re-cross. Alas, no dice. Nice thing is though, that when people nearly pancake you they do drive more alertly and cautiously, at least until they go to sleep and forget about it.

Yesterday, walking down 6th Avenue, I witnessed, I swear, a guy put a textbook in a blue mailbox. Maybe I am the one going crazy? Probably.

This morning, passing a McDonald's, also on 6th Avenue, I noticed a patron exiting the establishment outfitted, coincidentally, in a red and yellow fleece accompanied by a red and yellow winter cap. This guy should be hired on as the unofficial spokesperson for McDonald's if he loves it enough to be rocking their gang colors anyway.

Also, every time I walk by the little bus booth on the northeast corner of 27th Street and 6th Avenue, I inadvertently look over at the giant 2xist ad promoting some reasonably high-fashion undies. I always think the dude is Freddie Ljungberg except that he does ads for Calvin Klein. As a former underwear model myself I have to say, this ad and a Freddie Ljungberg google search may subliminally have convinced me to go buy myself some fancy undies. Undies=great word.

Finally, I think I could write a whole book on walking. In the meantime I'll try to put together some thoughts on it in a forthcoming post. I'm just throwing it out there so I don't forget, which I am likely to anyway.

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