There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Don't Dine, Just Dash

Today I stopped in at the Vernon Diner in Vernon, CT on my way back to Jersey and had a less than stellar experience. As a native of Jersey, home of the diner, I've got fairly extensive diner meals to use for comparative purposes. My first sign that things might go awry should have been that I was in Connecticut. I'm just going to go out and say that I've met seemingly a disproportionate number of inconsiderate jerks in my time there. But the true first sign was that I stood in front of the "Please Wait To Be Seated" sign for a minute or so before someone acknowledged my presence. This wouldn't be so bad if three employees hadn't been sitting right at the bar counter.

After being seated at a table without silverware and not being brought any water for close to ten minutes, a host flagged down a waitress for us who took our order. All would have been well except that twenty-five minutes passed. All we ordered was two sandwiches, egg salad, and grilled chicken. Now, again, perhaps if the place were exceedingly crowded I'd understand, but it was moderately populated at best. At that point, though hungry, we decided it was time to hit the road because we still had three hours of driving to go. The thing I have to wonder is if they ever came out with our order, or if they ever even noticed. Glad to be ignored. Haaapppy holidays ya bums.

Anyway, I was just browsing Alaska Airlines website in preparation for a flight and I noticed the following awesome notes. My favorites are in bold:

The following items may count as your "one" carry-on bag and may exceed the carry-on dimensions as long as they can be safely accommodated in a proper stowage compartment in the cabin of the aircraft.

* Art/Advertising portfolios
* Paintings
* Delicate scientific equipment
* Fishing poles
* Human organs

All items brought onboard count toward your carry-on limit except the following:

* Coats, hats, umbrellas
* Reasonable amount of reading material
* FAA approved child/infant restraint seats to be occupied by a child
* Stroller
* Mobility assistive devices (e.g. wheelchairs, canes and crutches)
* Medical supplies and small medical equipment (e.g. CPAP machine for sleep apnea). Visit Travelers with Disabilities and Medical Conditions on the TSA website for more information on allowed medical items and screening procedures.
* Small musical instruments (e.g. violin, flute, clarinet, or a small guitar) provided they are of a size or shape that can be safely stowed in an overhead bin or closet. Any musical instrument (e.g. oversized or odd-shaped) that cannot be properly stowed, must be checked or travel as cabin seat baggage.
* Ashes in an Urn. Ashes must be in a sealed, leak-proof container that fits in an overhead compartment. For information about TSA screening requirements, visit the Transporting the Deceased section of the TSA website.

It's not so much that people would never be transporting human organs or ashes in my estimation, I'm just surprised that it comes up frequently enough to make the standard list of regulations. But shit, I've got some packing to do. I hope everyone had an excellent holiday and has a wonderful new year. Boooyaaaaahhh...

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