There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Thursday, December 31, 2009


Ah yes, it's the one we've (me, and the other me) all been waiting for, my New Year's Resolutions post. As usual I have given a lot (read: not a lot) of thought to what it is exactly I will change about myself in 2010. Sometimes people call these improvements. To be honest, I don't really remember what any of my past resolutions have been and thus have no idea if I have ever successfully adhered to them. Well this year it is etched in cyberspace so even though a lot of it is likely to be accounted for qualitatively rather than quantitatively, well shit, I'm giving it a shot.

1. Drink less. This is quantitative and measurable but, unlike what they say about white people on that stuff white people like blog, I don't really count my drinks anymore. I only have one liver. This would be a reason to drink less.
2. Drink more. Hydration is important. Especially when it's whiskey, or scotch, or bourbon. Or beer, but only certain beers that I enjoy. This may seem in contrast to resolution number one, but these are not numbered by priority.
3. Pay better attention to the news/current events. Man, I never have any idea what is going on. I mean really, I am shockingly out of touch with shit. I don't know if it's just because I mostly find the news depressing or because I am self-centered and only follow things going on in my more immediate biosphere. I don't think biosphere is the right word. Perhaps another resolution could be to use words correctly.
4. Travel more. I like exploring. I have seen shockingly few other countries and have neglected whole regions of the United States.
5. Publish a book. I went through the trouble of writing one this year, and am trying to work on a few more and/or a compendium of short stories, as in stories of diminutive length, not about diminutive people, but that might come up. But yeah, I would like to share that shit. Also, maybe this time I won't write entirely in the second person, because that's probably annoying. But publishing, I think maybe that takes a long time, so I'll settle for writing more and getting the other sorts of gears in motion.
6. Read more. I love books, but I don't read enough of them.
7. Cook more. Cooking is fun. I do it not infrequently, but I need to do some more inventive things in the kitchen.
8. Take more/better photos. I have a camera, I'd like to get a fancier one someday. But I rarely take that thing with me. This can include candids and thoughtful photography because they both serve a purpose.
9. Eat healthier. I love my sweets, but damn, as frequently happens, it can get out of hand. My half-British heritage has thus far made me impervious to Wilford Brimley disease, but I don't want to one day be a cancerous carcass of high fructose corn syrup. So maybe I will amend this to trying to eat only things with real sugar.
10. Spend less time on the internet. This is probably the most important one. I don't really know how much time I piss away on the internet relative to regular humans (I certainly watch far less TV than the American "average" according to however reliable such statistics are), but I still know it is too much. Real life > virtual life.

So yeah, I settled on ten, and the thing is, all I did was pull these right off the top of my head, which is how I operate with many things. So perhaps "putting more thought into things" could be a resolution, but then I'd stop being me, and that would be no fun, at least for me.

Now it's switching gears a little bit, but I never cease to get a kick out of the corruption that goes on in my hometown, this time the high school janitors being linked to a prescription drug scheme. Unlimited refills on prescription drugs for public employees? Whoa, no wonder my monthly fee is so wonderfully high. One of those janitors is the son of our former AD, now on the school board, and whose wife once taught me in the "academically talented" group in elementary school. There are all sorts of problems with that last statement, especially grouping me with the academically talented.

In the proper holiday spirit, I was prank called on Christmas day. Sadly I wasn't there to receive the call but no worries as this individual decided to leave me a message. As my voicemail features my voice and my name, I have to wonder if this person does in fact know me. But as aforementioned (last post), this person appears to be male and in their teenage years. Guess I have to stop hanging around the Middle School giving out my phone number. So much for scouting for potential...

I think it's funny that you can say at this time "see you next year" and it's not all too bastardly or depressing because well, the next year is awfully close. So I hope you all had a swell 2009 and will have an even better 2010.

Yes, the happiest of new years.

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