There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Friday, September 30, 2011


I have a weird relationship with privacy, truth, and online personas, so when I saw the other day that The Department of Homeland Security had dropped by this place, I admit, I got a little worried. In general I don't say anything too sensational on here, but dating back to when Google started reading your email and offering targeted ads, well hey I read 1984 okay? I've already been on the cusp of minimizing my online visibility and footprint, because I prefer real-life interactions and perhaps just because of the change of the seasons. I can't exactly dictate why I go through these back-and-forth feelings, I just know that it happens. Sure, I like to be accessible, but most of the people I want to be accessible to would be capable of tracking me down without Facebook, a blog, or Twitter. I am also aware that this is not a unique feeling.

As far as discovering how discoverable I may be, I realized that I am the number 5 search result for "deaf people are assholes," (number 3 if you change assholes to "jerks") and the number 2 search result for "shitty boy bands." That last one really amazes me. For "backhair" I yield a solidly unlucky 13, but where I come in number 1 is for "'Me Want Honeycomb' ad." The old quotes within quotes thing really gets to me.

At any rate, welcome to October folks, an even more appropriate time for bourbon and whiskey (actually, when isn't?), and a time at which it's okay to consume the occasional pumpkin ale, now that they are available and all. The weather back in the Chi is decidedly fall, and while I'm a bit bummed to be unable to run in it, just walking around, smelling and drinking it in is pretty damn skippy. See ya in a jif.


  1. Bummer that you still can't run. You should grab a wheel chair and get a good arm work out in.

    Fall is also great for eating heavy casseroles. Or hot dishes as Minnesotans will say. Eating them and feeling heavy. And then really needing run. Or wheel chair. Or bob up and down in the pool like the old ladies do at Bally's or the Y.

    If you disappear from online I'll just go to that Wendy's and start yelling your name, Jeb.

  2. Jeff, I've neither said goodbye to the dear internet nor have I been able to run. And now nor am I able to leave comments on your blog. Still laugh when I go to rather than

    I think whoever read your novel draft meant that you should be aware of tense change, not that you should necessarily always write in present tense. Inconsistencies are okay but need to be a necessary device. That's what I think that reader had in mind.

    Please throw pebbles next time you are at Wendy's. Actually, better not, just throw a 5-pack of nuggets instead. Or a crispy chicken mayo.


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