There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Friday, April 25, 2008


Maybe it's just that I don't watch enough TV anymore or, at least, the right type of TV, but there seems to be a decided lack of goofy breakfast cereal-based commercials these days. As heinous as it might seem, especially for a cereal lover and, in spite of this entry title, I am fairly certain I didn't have Honeycomb prior to 2006, at which point I only succumbed due to the <$2 price tag for a large box. I think I decided it tasted a good deal like Alphabits, a cereal I begged to have in the house as a child, but I am not sure I enjoyed eating all that much. I like that these commercials served up the crock of shit that my Alphabits might randomly align in my cereal bowl to form words, and also the disclaimer included that they are "part of a balanced breakfast." Bacon and donuts are part of a balanced breakfast as well, so long as the rest of your breakfast is a couple of shots of wheatgrass and a chunk-lite tuna shake.

The real reason I probably got to thinking about cereal is that it is Passover, and one certainly doesn't eat cereal at this time. The Haggadah, at least in the rendition my family always read, told us that "in their haste to leave Egypt, the Jews could not wait for their bread (I think they mean dough, and I don't remember the specific word choice) to rise," hence the consumption of matzoh, an unleavened bread. The only flaw is that these two are not the same thing. Matzoh has no yeast, which is the element that causes the bread to rise prior to baking. So really Jews should be eating some sort of flatbread on Passover or, in other words, it should be a naan-issue. I crack myself up. In the same haste to leave Egypt, thankfully they had time to make Kosher for Passover Coke. I am only half-joking here because I actually think Kosher Coke tastes better, the difference being cane sugar as a sweetener, as opposed to the usual high fructose corn syrup. That means it is like those tasty Mexican sodas and also Mexican Coke.

On a completely unrelated note Gilbert Arenas injured himself yet again in tonight's playoff game. Not everyone is a fan of the outspoken Agent Zero (which sadly represents the number of minutes he is playing these days), but as an injury prone fellow myself, I feel for the man.

Following that unrelated vein, residents of Westchester County in New York earn, on average, $176,231. I wonder if that calculation includes non-working family and children, which would drag the average down accordingly, or simply represents the working commuters themselves. Statistics never fail to impress me with how much and how little they really tell you. Here is a good one: if Yankees star*Alex Rodriguez had his own town, with 153 residents, himself being the 154th, and all other residents were unemployed, the average per capita income would still exceed that of these Westchester folks.

Oh shit, maybe I will try to put together a Passover song before it ends Sunday night. Remind me.

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