There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

2013: The Year in Review

Rather than going through the great and not-so-great moments of 2012, I think I could be better served to write up a review of 2013 before it gets too long and out of control.

Actually, I won't but I'll brag a little more than I generally choose to and say that I slept more on New Year's Day than I did any day in 2012, and I have thus far run a whopping zero days. Generally I like to leave personal details out of my blog, but we all have things we wish to brag about.

So then, back to griping, and how about we start with those "Do it for Chicago" ads? How about, I'm blogging so you don't really have an option (although, in the future, there may be a/b testing-choose-your-own-adventure style options on the internet for even such menial content as this blog). These ads are for the Greater Chicago Food Depository — more like suppository, am I right? — and if you haven't seen them, they look like this:

Incidentally, before I continue, googling simply "no you're not" yields top results for a couple of different Facebook pages, both of which deal with defining the amateur v. the artiste in photography. This, dear Internet, is one of your greatest gripes of the moment it would appear. 

But back to mine, which is this ad. Who the heck was commissioned for this? The logo looks like, actually, I can't find the other logo I'm looking for and instead could only muster this annoying bullshit (hey dude, it's great if your life is good, but seeing that plastered on something doesn't make me think so but good for you for tricking a lot of people and getting rather wealthy in the process). So though it looks nothing like those "Life is Good" designs I clearly love, it also does not create in me any great desire to do good. It just looks ominous, and inhuman, like a monster holding a tray/palette that somehow spells out food, probably in blood.

See that's hyperbole, and I like to stop short of it generally because there's way too much hyperbole these days, not enough gets to just be what it actually is which, in my case, is a critical asshole. So, with that established, I think this logo looks like shit. Nor is the edgy, anarchical typeface that says "Do it for Chicago" doing it any favors. What exactly am I supposed to be associating with donating food? 

I know, you're thinking "Jeb, why don't you build something rather than cut these things down." And, "Jeb, why do you undermine your argument by pointing out how asinine it is." The truth is, because it's not that important, I just saw some ads I thought looked bad, and then I thought I might blog about it, and then it spiraled out of control, and I'm a hoarder, so I'm keeping these words here.

And how fun is it to get that email confirming you've unsubscribed from an email subscription you never subscribed to? About as much fun as watching the Patriots win when you are actually a fan of football, am I right? Which is just as much fun as ending declarations with "am I right," am I right?

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