There are so many intelligent and articulate people covering the hard-hitting
issues in our country these days, that I felt it was my duty to cover the
rather inconsequential bullshit that tends to make up the vast majority of
our lives. Actually, I'll just be griping a lot which, if you weren't aware,
doubles as a synonym for complaining, and as a descriptor for
a sharp pain in the bowels.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valenchimes Day

Well it is the day of St. Valentine and all that is now commercially associated, so I'm chiming in so as not to miss every important day in February as it unfolds. Groundhog day? Didn't see if any shadows were seen. Lincoln's birthday? Well, I'm in the adoptive land of Lincoln (IL) so rarely is old honest Abe away from my brain, honest.

This year I have a Valentine, and it's nice, the nicest one actually, but I think she knows that I love and care about her the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four. Leap year, thankfully, I get a day off.

But ah yes, Valenchimes, the gentle sound of wind imploring you to buy chocolates, flowers, and a fancy dinner. Enter one more opinion on how you're all for those in love to be celebrating, but it shouldn't be forced on you or expected, and nor should those in tenuous, ambiguous, or completely non-existent relationships feel bad. Because I do agree with that. Remember back in elementary school — assuming you are in the same bracket of timing as I, and that you attended a school that had similar practices — where you'd essentially give out Valentine's to everyone, or at least your friends? That was a nice thought save for the poor bastards who got far fewer or, worse, no Valentine's.

Unfortunately, that's life. We can't all be loved, nor can we all be loved equally, so from the cheesy recesses of my cheesy heart — I'm not belittling these sentiments, I just eat a lot of cheese — if you do have people you care about, let them know. It doesn't have to be February 14th. There are a lot of other days in the year. No day is the wrong day to tell someone you're thinking of them. What's the worst that happens? They didn't want you to be thinking of them? Don't worry, many of us are narcissistic enough that, even when it's not the right person, we're still clamoring for someone to care, maybe even our enemies.

If you came here in search of Valenrhymes, there're some from the past, and more specific doctorings of the word itself were the works of the Valenmime. Without even looking back, I can be sure that there is some repetition even in those two posts, but my brain can't always remember all that it's thought up. The best ideas come up more than once, right?

So if you Valenpine for a Valentine, I hope one comes for you all in good Valentime, and if you're bothered by all of my rhyme, well then you can just suck on a fresh Valenlime. Know that the future may just hold further Valen-decline.

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